Marriage

Marriage

"Marriage...is ordained of God...God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife...Moarriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan." - The Family:  A Proclamation to the World

Throughout all of history, marriage has been regarded as "the definitive transition to adulthood", but, as Brother Jason S. Carroll points out in his essay "Young Adulthood and Pathways to Eternal Marriage, "recent studies suggest that the majority of young people today no longer consider marriage and other social milestones (for example, completing school or becoming a parent) to be a necessary part of becoming an adult." Instead, he continues, "young people report more personally defined qualities, such as accepting responsibility for one's self, achieving financial independence and becoming independent decision makers, as the contemporary markers of adulthood." However, the Lord's prophets have always taught the importance of marriage and that hasn't changed today. Here are just a few scriptures regarding marriage.

SCRIPTURES:

Moses 3:18 - “It was not good that the man should be alone; wherefore, I will make an help meet for him”

1Corinthians 11:11 - “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" 

D&C 49:15-16 - “Marriage is ordained of God unto man.  Wherefore,…they twain shall be one flesh"

Are we becoming a Cohabitation Nation?

 If we only look at what is popular or common these days, we might think marriage is old-fashioned, out of date and not even necessary anymore.  Many people “in the world" live together without getting married first. Social Scientists call this “cohabitation”.  But check out the very first line of the Proclamation.  It says: “We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” In paragraph 6, it also says “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other” and paragraph 7 says “Marriage is essential to His eternal plan.” 

Just living together doesn’t cut it. In fact, research shows that people who live together before marriage have higher rates of divorce and lower levels of marital quality if they do end up getting married. (Jose, O’Leary & Moyer, 2010).  They are also more likely to experience infidelity (being “cheated on”) and physical aggression and abuse. One of the scariest things I have learned in my studies is that young women who live with their boyfriend are 9 times more likely to be murdered by their mate than someone who is married. (Shackelford and Mouzos 2005; Brown and Bulanda 2008).

Contracts vs. Covenants

No matter what “the world” thinks, we know that having a good, strong marriage, especially one that takes place in the temple where we can be sealed for all time and eternity is vital to our happiness in this life and forever. This knowledge is something that sets us apart from all other people in the world. When we are sealed in the temple, we are making a covenant, a two way promise with God. Marriages that don’t take place in the temple can be called “contract” marriages. Elder Bruce C. Hafen described the differences:

“When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away.  They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for.  But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through.  They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God.  Contract companions each give 50 percent.  But covenant companions each give 100 percent.” 

  GOD

 

                                       HUSBAND                                     WIFE

Look at the triangle above. 

 What do you notice?  When a couple is married in the Temple and are striving to have a Covenant marriage, the closer each one of them comes to God, the closer they come to each other.  Can you see how that is true?  If both husband and wife are doing all they can to have a close relationship with their Heavenly Father and their Savior, they will naturally draw closer to each other as well.  God needs to be the center point of our marriage.  

 I want you to take a few minutes now to read this article  by Elder David A. Bednar. See if you can find two reasons why Eternal Marriage is "essential to Heavenly Father's Plan." Write your answers in your journal.  

Dating

DATING & MARRIAGE PREPARATION

Take a minute to read this excerpt from the New Era Special Dating Issue from April 2010.

Is Dating Dead?

What would your response be to this question? We’ve asked young men and women all around the world, and while there hasn’t been complete agreement, most of you have told us there’s just not a lot of dating going on where you live—at least not a lot of dating in the traditional LDS sense.

For example, Felicity Lawrance says, “In England, the dating of my generation has become ridiculous. Here if someone asks ‘Will you go out with me?’ it really means ‘Will you be my boy/girlfriend?’ And if the answer is yes then you are boyfriend and girlfriend. It completely skips the period of getting to know each other!”

Some teens we talked to called this the “instacouple” phenomenon.

Kathryn Jones says that in Colorado traditional dating is “pretty much dead,” particularly when it comes to dating a variety of people. She explains, “If an LDS guy went on a date with a non-LDS girl one week and then went out with another girl who was LDS the next week, the non-LDS girl wouldn’t get it.”

So, exclusivity seems to be implied right up front, making it awkward to follow the counsel to date a number of different people.

This trend away from dating seems to be pretty consistent, according to what LDS teens are telling us. So is that a problem? Probably not when you are 17, but what about when you are 21? Your best bet is to hold fast to the teachings of the gospel, always uphold your high standards, and follow the counsel of prophets and apostles. One great source for gospel standards is For the Strength of Youth, where it says on the topic of dating, “Good friendships can and should be developed at every age” ([2001], 24). While you’re a teenager, the point of dating is simply that—to make friends. In that spirit, dating—or getting acquainted—will always be alive and well.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks has some thoughts on the "Dating is Dead" issue.  Read what he has to say.  

Dating: An Endangered Species

"What has made dating an endangered species? I am not sure, but I can see some contributing factors:

1. The cultural tides in our world run strongly against commitments in family relationships. For example, divorce has been made legally easy, and childbearing has become unpopular. These pressures against commitments obviously serve the devil’s opposition to the Father’s plan for His children. That plan relies on covenants or commitments kept. Whatever draws us away from commitments weakens our capacity to participate in the plan. Dating involves commitments, if only for a few hours. Hanging out requires no commitments, at least not for the men if the women provide the food and shelter.

2. The leveling effect of the women’s movement has contributed to discourage dating. As women’s options have increased and some women have become more aggressive, some men have become reluctant to take traditional male initiatives, such as asking for dates, lest they be thought to qualify for the dreaded label “male chauvinist.”

3. Hanging out is glamorized on TV programs about singles.

4. The meaning and significance of a “date” has also changed in such a way as to price dating out of the market. I saw this trend beginning among our younger children. For whatever reason, high school boys felt they had to do something elaborate or bizarre to ask for a date, especially for an event like a prom, and girls felt they had to do likewise to accept. …

All of this made dating more difficult. And the more elaborate and expensive the date, the fewer the dates. As dates become fewer and more elaborate, this seems to create an expectation that a date implies seriousness or continuing commitment. That expectation discourages dating even more. Gone is the clumsy and inexpensive phone call your parents and grandparents and I used to make. That call went something like this: “What’re ya doin’ tonight? How about a movie?” Or, “How about taking a walk downtown?”

Do you agree with Elder Oaks? 
How common is dating in your school or ward? 
Do you think going on a date with someone automatically means you are boyfriend/girlfriend?  
Why or why not? 

The Proclamation tells us "IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally." 

Eternal marriage is a vital part of Heavenly Father's plan and is obviously very important to Him.  And according to a recent study, 90% of young adults in the US think having a good marriage and family life is "quite important" or "very important to them”, too. 
But how do we figure out WHO to marry?  And how can we figure that out if "dating is dead?"

Finding vs. Becoming: 

 According to Successful Marriages and Families, there are two main ways young adults go about looking for a mate. 

The first approach to dating can be called the “Finding Mr./Ms. Right” approach.  It is pretty popular and common in our culture and even in the Church.  The primary question of this approach is “How do I find the right person for me?” and we usually have a list of traits we are looking for.  What would be on your list? 

But Elder David A. Bednar suggests a better way, what we might call the  "Becoming Mr./Ms. Right” approach.  Listen to what he told  young people on a Mormon Channel radio show back in 2009: 

“As we visit with young adults all over the Church, often they will ask, ‘Well, what are the characteristics I should look for in a future spouse?’ As though they have some checklist of, ‘I need to find someone who has these three, or four, or five things.’ And I rather forcefully say to them, ‘You are so arrogant to think that you are some catch and that you want someone else who has these five things for you!  If you found somebody who had these three or four or five characteristics that you’re looking for, what makes you think they’d want to marry you?’ The ‘list' is not for evaluating someone else - the list is for YOU and what YOU need to become.”

He then says:

“You are not on a shopping spree looking for the greatest value with a series of characteristics.  You become what you hope your spouse will be and you’ll have a greater likelihood of finding that person.”

What do you think about that? I love the "shopping spree" line!  It reminds me of a great quote by Elder Marvin J. Ashton, “The goal is not to wait for the right person, but to be the right person.” 

Some of you may be thinking to yourselves: "Sister White, why are we talking about finding a mate?? I’m not ready to get married yet, I’m only 16!” to which I would say, “You are absolutely right!”, but these next few years are when the choices you make will either bring you closer to becoming like the person on your Wish List or further away from it.  I just want you to keep these ideas in mind so you can stay on the right track. But here is some great stuff about dating you can use NOW. 

In April 2010, the Church published a special Dating Issue of the NEW ERA magazine.  Do you remember that?  Do you still have a copy somewhere in your room?  If you don’t, no worries…here are a few links to some of the awesome articles:

NEW ERA Special Dating Issue - April 2010

Is Dating Dead?

 To the Young Men on Dating If you are a young man, read this article and then write down a few of your thoughts and impressions about it.  Did you read something you had never thought of before?

To the Young Women on Dating Same for you, Sisters.  Read this and write down a few things that impressed you about it. 

Idea List for Great Dates 

Have you done any of these things?  What is the best date you have been on?  One of the most fun dates I remember was going out to an Italian restaurant, ordering spaghetti and only being able to use chopsticks to eat it with. We laughed a lot more than we ate, I promise!  

One more thing to think about. Elder Oak's granddaughter taught him that in order for an outing to be considered a "date" it has to pass the 3 Ps Test: 

A date must be: 

1) planned ahead, 

2) paid for (by the young man) and 

3) paired off. 

Do your dates meet these standards?
  If not, what needs to change? 
You can read more about this in his awesome talk called Dating vs. Hanging Out  .

  

Parenting

Parenting

The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love

The Proclamation teaches that: "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.  Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.  By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.  Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.  In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."

Let me tell you something, parenting isn't for sissies.  Just reading all the things I'm responsible for doing as a mom is still intimidating, and my kids are pretty much grown. But let me tell you something else...I wouldn't have it any other way.  Being a parent is the greatest job ever.  Nothing has helped me understand how much Heavenly Father loves us more than raising my own family. I love my kids "to infinity and beyond", "as big as the sky" and "to the moon and back".  As I tell them (I know, I'm embarrassing), I love them "oodles and bunches and tons."  And guess what, I know your parents feel the same way about you. So, for this little segment of your study, I want you to do something for me...CUT YOUR MOM & DAD SOME SLACK!!!  I know them and they are awesome!  Try to remember that, please. 

Speaking of lists, here is a great one from an essay called "Parenting with Love, Limits and Latitude" that shares some things parents need to do in order to "promote optimal development" in their children. 

• Love, warmth and support
• Clear and reasonable expectations for competent behavior
• Limits and boundaries with some room for negotiation and compromise
• Reasoning and developmentally appropriate consequences and punishments for breaching established limits
• Opportunities to perform competently and make choices
• Absence of coercive, hostile forms of discipline, such as harsh physical punishment, love withdrawal, shaming, and inflicting guilt.

Would you add anything to the list?

What about spiritual training? 

Here is what Professor David A. Nelson had to say about things like Family Home Evening and Prayer: "The Latter-day Saint approach to teaching children, particularly through avenues such as family home evening and scripture study, is most essential to promoting understanding and internalization of important values that will guide behavior.  Similarly, prayer encourages children's sense of accountability to their Heavenly Father for their lives and actions."

I found a talk given a couple years ago that does a great job of teaching us parents what we need to do, and how we need to be.  I want you to watch it, and keep in mind that when your parents drive you crazy, they are only trying to be obedient to our Heavenly Father, who has asked us to raise you in righteousness so you can return to live with Him.  It's a big big job.  Anyway, watch the video.  Then, why don't you write your mom and dad a little note letting them know how much you love them?  It will make their day, week, month and year. I pinky promise. 

Population Problems? Not So Fast!

I ran across an article in National Geographic with the following tag line: 

There will soon be seven billion people on the planet. By 2045 global population is projected to reach nine billion. Can the planet take the strain?

Here is just one of its fear-filled paragraphs: 

"With the population still growing by about 80 million each year, it’s hard not to be alarmed. Right now on Earth, water tables are falling, soil is eroding, glaciers are melting, and fish stocks are vanishing. Close to a billion people go hungry each day. Decades from now, there will likely be two billion more mouths to feed, mostly in poor countries. There will be billions more people wanting and deserving to boost themselves out of poverty. If they follow the path blazed by wealthy countries—clearing forests, burning coal and oil, freely scattering fertilizers and pesticides—they too will be stepping hard on the planet’s natural resources. How exactly is this going to work?"

 Here is a link to the article if you would like to read more.
In 1968, author Paul R. Ehrlich wrote a book called "The Population Bomb" in which he "warned that the increase in population was quickly outpacing the ability of the planet to produce enough food and that millions would soon be starving.  He and others advocated that extreme measures should be taken to stabilize the world's population."

So...does this worry you?

 Do you think the planet is going to crash and the best thing we can do is look to the example of China and establish some serious limits on the population?  Let's not freak out just yet...Here is what the Proclamation has to say about it all: "The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force."

And here's what lds.org has to say about population issues:

Replenishing the Earth

After the Lord commanded Adam and Eve to “be fruitful, and multiply,” He commanded them to “replenish the earth, and subdue it” (Gen. 1:28). The Hebrew word translated as replenish means “to fill.” For many years we have heard warnings about overpopulation and the devastating effects it can cause. While some areas of the world are experiencing a negative impact from extreme population density, the world as a whole is actually moving in the opposite direction. Indeed, research indicates that by the year 2040 world population will peak and begin to decline. 

Probably a more relevant issue than population density is how we use the resources God has given us to support the population now and in the future. “For the earth is full,” He said, “and there is enough and to spare. … If any man shall take of the abundance which I have made, and impart not his portion, according to the law of my gospel, unto the poor and the needy, he shall, with the wicked, lift up his eyes in hell, being in torment” (D&C 104:17–18). “The enemy of human happiness as well as the cause of poverty and starvation is not the birth of children,” said Elder Henry B. Eyring of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. “It is the failure of people to do with the earth what God could teach them to do if only they would ask and then obey.” 

One of the byproducts of the fear of overpopulation is that couples are choosing to have fewer children. Some are even deciding to stay purposefully childless.  And, then there is abortion.  Keep reading for some more information from lds.org:

Children Are Becoming Less Valued

President James E. Faust, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, addressed a “shift in attitude about the purpose of marriage. More and more young people view marriage ‘as a couples relationship, designed to fulfill the emotional needs of adults, rather than an institution for bringing up children.’ …

“Another disturbing challenge to the family,” observed President Faust, “is that children are becoming less valued. In many parts of the world, people are having fewer children. Abortion is probably the clearest sign that couples do not want children. An estimated one-quarter of all pregnancies worldwide end by induced abortion.” 

From the Proclamation: "We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God's eternal plan."

We've looked at marriage and why it is vital to Heavenly Father's plan of happiness, and we've talked about the importance of living the Law of Chastity, but, sadly, many people are not getting the message and thousands of babies are born each year to unwed parents. Again, from the Proclamation: "Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."

Nonmarital Childbearing

"As important as the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth is, the Lord has made clear that we must demonstrate our obedience only within the marriage relationship. There are numerous reasons for this restriction, but two of the most significant are to discourage sexual promiscuity and to provide a stable and healthy family environment for children.

In most societies, bearing children out of wedlock has traditionally been considered an embarrassment and a disgrace. But in today’s world, where good is called evil and evil good (see Isa. 5:20), the stigma of nonmarital childbearing has largely vanished. Not only is this practice a sin in the eyes of heaven, but researchers have found out-of-wedlock birth to be associated with several risks for the baby. For instance, compared with children born to married couples, children born out of wedlock are more likely to die of sudden infant death syndrome, suffer death due to injury, or eventually become juvenile offenders.

Children born to unwed parents and placed for adoption fare significantly better than those who are not adopted. They experience fewer learning problems, achieve higher vocational levels, and are less likely to receive government assistance as adults. It is obvious that bringing children into the world and raising them the Lord’s way results in spiritual and temporal blessings."

Watch this short video from Elder Neal L. Andersen. 

• What did you learn about the importance of having children from Elder Andersen? 
• How can this knowledge help you defend our beliefs to someone who might say it is irresponsible for us to have "big families" in the Church?

Okay, I don't want to keep you too long, but I have an idea. I know most of you have to write research papers at some point in school, right?  Well, I think doing some in-depth research on the realities of "over-population" would make a pretty interesting paper. I'm going to post links to a fascinating documentary that I think could help you write an awesome essay.  It's called "Demographic Winter."

Demographic Winter Part 1

Demographic Winter Part 2

And, just because I love you, here are some great questions to help you as you are watching:

1. How did the book, The Population Bomb influence common views about population growth?
2. What was the "baby boom" and what have been some of the results?
3. How long does it take a population with sub-replacement rates to actually decline?
4. How does the media influence our perceptions of world population growth?
5. What is Human Capital, and how does that factor into the results of decreased fertility rates? Who is affected by having fewer children in the world?
6. How will immigration change as a result of the decline in births?
7. Why did fertility fall in the first place?  (List 4 specific trends or "revolutions" noted in the program.)
8. What are possible solutions?

Bet your teacher learns a thing or two after reading your paper!

Abortion: "A Devastating Practice"

Abortion:

A Devastating Practice

Many of you may not know that I am a Childbirth Educator and a doula.  Most of you probably have no idea what a doula is! "Doula" is a Greek word that means "a woman who serves" and refers to someone who has been trained to provide continuous physical, emotional and informational support to a mother before, during and after birth.  We don't deliver the babies, that job is for the midwives or doctors.  But we give lots of massages, encouragement, ideas on positions to try to reduce discomfort, and reminders about the pros and cons of procedures that might be suggested during their labor. As a doula, I have helped over 100 women bring their babies into the world.  It's a pretty awesome job! I love babies!! And I testify that what the Proclamation states is true: Each human being, no matter how young or small, is "a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny." Sadly, the laws of our land don't reflect this knowledge.  Since Roe v. Wade in 1973, women have had the "right" to an abortion in all 50 states. I think the abortion issue is one of the most obvious cases of "just because something is legal, doesn't mean it's right." 

Elder Russell M. Nelson called abortion "the global war on the unborn."  As of 2008, this "war" kills approximately 40 million "voiceless and defenseless unborn babies each year" around the world. 


When President Gordon B. Hinckley read the Proclamation on the Family at the Relief Society meeting in 1995, he reminded everyone of "the sanctity of life and of its importance in God's eternal plan."  In an article entitled "Defending the Sanctity of Human Life", author Cynthia L. Hallen states: Each individual is sacred because each one reflects the divine image of the Creator." And the Proclamation also says: "all human beings - male and female - are created in the image of God." 

This is an ultrasound video of a baby from 5-9 weeks gestation.  Check it out!

At what week was the heartbeat clearly visible?

When did leg and arm buds begin to develop?

Here is an ultrasound picture at 20 weeks gestation.  Right now, it is legal in the state of Texas to abort a baby this age.  This breaks my heart.  

After seeing these sonograms, can there be any doubt that unborn babies are already BABIES?  

You've heard of Mother Teresa, right?  She was a Catholic nun, humanitarian and Nobel Peace Prize winner.  

Listen to what she had to say about abortion:

"Many people are deeply concerned with the children of India, with the children of Africa where quite a few die of hunger.  Many people are also concerned about all the violence in this great country of the United States.  These concerns are very good.  But often these same people are not concerned with the millions who are being killed by the deliberate decision of their own mothers.  And this is what is the greatest destroyer of peace today - abortion, which brings people to such blindness.  By abortion, the mother kills even her own child to solve her problems.  And, by abortion, the father is told that he does not have to take any responsibility at all for the child he has brought into the world....Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love but to use violence to get what they want."

Sometimes you will hear people claim that a woman is free to choose what she does with her own body.  Listen to what Elder Nelson had to say about that: 

"The woman's choice for her own body does not validate choice for the body of another...The consequence of terminating the fetus therein involves the body and very life of another.  These two individuals have separate brains, separate hearts, and separate circulatory systems.  To pretend that there is no child and no life there is to deny reality."

And President Boyd K. Packer said: "Whatever the laws of man may come to tolerate, the misuse of the power of procreation, the destroying of innocent life through abortion, and the abuse of little children are transgressions of enormous proportion."

Read what President Gordon B. Hinckley said regarding teen pregnancy and unwed parents: "There will be those who discover to their shock and dismay that they are to become parents, while they are scarcely older than children themselves. Abortion is not the answer.  This only compounds the problem.  It is an evil and repulsive escape that will someday bring regret and remorse...When marriage is not possible, experience has shown that adoption, difficult though this may be for the young mother, may afford a greater opportunity for the child to live a life of happiness."

The Proclamation says: "We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family."  Spend a few minutes writing in your journal about ways that YOU can help strengthen the family and protect the unborn. 

The Law of Chastity

The Law of Chastity

The Family Proclamation: 

"We declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."

Good grief, if there is one issue where the world's standards are clearly in opposition to the Lord's, it is SEX!   Turn on the TV any given night and you are likely to see shows and even commercials that are blatantly sexual.  Lyrics to popular songs leave nothing to the imagination, it's hard to find a movie that is "safe" to see in the theaters any more and  let's not forget the mortifying performance at the recent MTV Music Awards.  Even Sister White knows what "twerking" is now! Could someone please send Miley Cyrus a copy of the For The Strength of Youth pamphlet? 

Speaking of the FTSOY pamphlet, let's see what it has to say about sexuality:

"Physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love between husband and wife. God has commanded that sexual intimacy be reserved for marriage.

When you are sexually pure, you prepare yourself to make and keep sacred covenants in the temple. You prepare yourself to build a strong marriage and to bring children into the world as part of an eternal and loving family. You protect yourself from the spiritual and emotional damage that come from sharing sexual intimacy outside of marriage. You also protect yourself from harmful diseases. Remaining sexually pure helps you to be confident and truly happy and improves your ability to make good decisions now and in the future.

The Lord’s standard regarding sexual purity is clear and unchanging. Do not have any sexual relations before marriage, and be completely faithful to your spouse after marriage. Do not allow the media, your peers, or others to persuade you that sexual intimacy before marriage is acceptable. It is not. In God’s sight, sexual sins are extremely serious. They defile the sacred power God has given us to create life. The prophet Alma taught that sexual sins are more serious than any other sins except murder or denying the Holy Ghost (see Alma 39:5)."

Does popular media make sex seem "beautiful and sacred?" NO, not at all! Why do you think this is? I believe it is because the Adversary doesn't have a body and so he tempts us  to misuse ours any way he can think of. The world we live in sure does seem a lot like "Babylon", wouldn't you say?   Prophets and Apostles in Biblical times and in our times have had plenty to say about sexual immorality.  

Check out Paul’s Teachings on Sexual Immorality in

1 Corinthians 6:13,15,18-20

13 Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for ^afornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.

 15 Know ye not that your bodies are the ^amembers of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.

  18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

 19 What? know ye not that your ^abody is the ^btemple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your^cown?

 20 For ye are ^abought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’

 Watch this short clip from Elder Bednar. What does he say obedience to the Law of Chastity will bring to us?

Elder Bednar's talk

Now, look back up at 1 Corinthians 6:19.  I think this verse holds one of the main clues that can help us understand why we need to keep our bodies, minds and spirits pure.  Our body is not our own.  It is the temple for the Holy Ghost to dwell in and belongs to God.  In one of my classes this year, we read an amazing talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. My Seminary students can tell you that I NEVER miss the chance to share a Jeffrey R. Holland talk! I found a video of him giving it at BYU and have posted it here.  Please don't skip this! Make sure you have your journal ready and prepare to be taught powerfully.  I wish every young man and woman could see this.  It is THAT good.

There are so many great resources on this topic, I don't want to leave any of them out!  Here is an awesome episode from the Mormon Channel by John Hilton III.  You might have heard of him, or even seen him speak at EFY.  I like this one because it is geared more towards your age. (But I still learned a lot!) 

The Law of Chastity

We know we need to remain sexually pure.  But, I know what you are thinking: "Sister White...how far is going TOO far?  Is it okay to (fill-in-the-blank)? or what about (fill-in-the-blank)?" Check out this short Mormon Message for Youth that will help you know how to answer these questions.

From the bottom of my heart, I know that committing to stay sexually pure may not be popular or even common these days, but I promise the Lord doesn't require anything of us that is not for our own benefit and blessing.  YOU are a gift that should only be given to someone who is committed to you for time and all eternity.  Please don't shortchange yourself by falling prey to the messages the world would have you believe.  I want to leave you with a quote  from BYU Professor James M. Harper that I think expresses why sex is worth waiting until marriage for beautifully:
"A loving Heavenly Father reserved something divine, the physical union between husband and wife, for the heart of marriage. In the intimate, personal, and often vulnerable space of marriage, God drew bounds around sacred physical union as something to be experienced with each other as husband and wife.  Sex within marriage potentially teaches Heavenly Father's deepest truths about oneness.  In this sense, sex within marriage is sanctified and serves great spiritual and temporal purposes..."

The Atonement of Jesus Christ

The Atonement of Jesus Christ

I don't know about you, but I am not perfect.  I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and at times have felt like I was unworthy of the blessings of the Gospel.  But, I don't think that anymore.  I know that through the love and Atonement of our Savior and the process of Repentance, we can be forgiven of all of our sins. Alma 34:10,14 teach us that the Atonement is both "infinite and eternal".  Infinite means "there is no limit to its capacity to cover sins of every type, severity, and frequency." "Eternal" means that it is "in force both in this life and in the life to come." Honestly, I could write volumes about the power of the Atonement and the impact it has had on my own life, but, instead, I want you to get comfy and watch what I think is the most life changing talk I have ever heard.  It's called His Grace Is Sufficient and was given by Bro. Brad Wilcox at BYU.  I suggest you have your journal and a pen handy so you can jot down any thoughts or impressions you receive.  I can't tell you how much I love this talk. 

Well, what did you think?  What did you learn?  What were your "aha" moments?  Do you have friends who might benefit from watching this?  Why don't you post a link to it on your Facebook page?  

Same Sex Attraction

Same Sex Attraction

 From the proclamation: "ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

What does that last sentence mean to you?  To me, it means that I have been female since I lived with Heavenly Father in the pre-existence, I'm female now, and I'm going to be female for all eternity.  However, there are many in the world who would like us to believe that gender isn't that important.  Same-sex attraction is a "hot button" topic these days.  Most of us feel like there are a lot more "gay" people in the media, on TV shows and just in general, but in reality, only about 2-3% of the population identifies as "gay". Is that lower than you thought? Did you know that before the year 2000, same-sex marriage had NEVER been legal in any nation on earth? Never. In. The. History. Of. The. World. But now, at the end of 2013, 15 states (plus the District of Columbia) in the US have passed bills allowing same-sex marriage - Hawaii, Illinois, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont and Washington . Do you ever feel confused about what to think?  The Prophets have been very clear that ANY sexual relations outside of a marriage between a man and a woman is prohibited.  But does that mean we should be rude and hateful to someone who has same sex attraction issues?  Heavens no! For most of this topic, I have pulled things straight from Church resources, because we are always safest when we follow the teachings of the Prophets and Apostles.  They won't lead us astray.  We can't say that about the general public.

FROM lds.org:

Addressing Same-Sex Attraction:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints acknowledges that same-sex attraction is a sensitive issue which requires kindness, compassion, and understanding. The website “Love One Another: A Discussion on Same-Sex Attraction” strives to address, through interviews and videos from Church leaders and members, the issue of same-sex attraction as it relates to individuals and affected family members. The statements and stories emphasize the importance of Christ’s commandment to love one another and reaffirm the Church’s position.

The Church’s doctrinal position is clear: Sexual activity should only occur between a man and a woman who are married. However, that should never be used as justification for unkindness. Jesus Christ, whom we follow, was clear in His condemnation of sexual immorality, but never cruel. His interest was always to lift the individual, never to tear down.

In short, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints affirms the centrality of doctrines relating to human sexuality and gender as well as the sanctity and significance of marriage as the union of a man and a woman. However, the Church firmly believes that all people are equally beloved children of God and deserve to be treated with love and respect. Church apostle Elder Quentin L. Cook stated, “As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate. Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion and outreach. Let’s not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender.”

The Divine Institution of Marriage:

The Church distinguishes between same-sex attraction and behavior. While maintaining that feelings and inclinations toward the same sex are not inherently sinful, engaging in homosexual behavior is in conflict with the “doctrinal principle, based on sacred scripture … that marriage between a man and a woman is essential to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”

Because the Church believes that the sacred powers of procreation are “to be exercised only between a man and a woman lawfully wedded as husband and wife … any other sexual relations, including those between persons of the same gender, undermine the divinely created institution of the family.” Accordingly, the Church favors measures that define marriage as the union of a man and a woman. However, “protecting marriage between a man and a woman does not remove Church members’ Christian obligations of love, kindness and humanity toward all people.”

Individual Rights:

The Church’s affirmation of marriage as being between a man and a woman “neither constitutes nor condones any kind of hostility toward gays and lesbians.” On the contrary, many Church leaders have spoken clearly about the love and respect with which all people are to be treated. Former Church president Gordon B. Hinckley (1910-2008) told members who are attracted to the same sex: “Our hearts reach out to [you]. We remember you before the Lord, we sympathize with you, we regard you as our brothers and sisters.” President Boyd K. Packer affirmed, “We do not reject you. … We cannot reject you. … We will not reject you, because we love you.”

The Church has advocated for rights for same-sex couples regarding “hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment rights, or probate rights, so long as these do not infringe on the integrity of the traditional family or the constitutional rights of churches.” In Salt Lake City, for example, the Church supported ordinances aimed at protecting gay residents from discrimination in housing and employment. 

Gospel of Love:

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is based on love, respect and agency. Mormons believe that all humans have inherited strengths, weaknesses, challenges and blessings and are invited to live, through the help and grace of God, the principles revealed by Jesus Christ. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints maintains that “God’s universal fatherhood and love charges each of us with an innate and reverent acknowledgment of our shared human dignity. We are to love one another. We are to treat each other with respect as brothers and sisters and fellow children of God, no matter how much we may differ from one another.”

Here are many more powerful and important resources you can turn to to help answer any questions you might have. 
First Presidency Statement on Same-Sex Marriage

Interview with Elder Dallin H. Oaks

Love One Another

Same Sex Attraction - Dallin H. Oaks

Helping Those Who Struggle With Same Gender Attraction - Jeffrey R. Holland